The Whole Story

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, “My wife’s going to have her  baby in the cab!” I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab,lifted the lady’s dress,and began to take off her underwear.   Suddenly I noticed   that  there were several cabs —and I was in the wrong one.
  

 2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an   elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. “Big breaths,” I instructed. “Yes, they used to be,” replied the patient.  

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a “massive internal fart.” (more…)