The Whole Story

And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.

14.) Pool filt ers do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR’s do not eject “PB & J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department inAustin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid


Technorati Tags: Humor

This came into my “inbox”, it is for your information only…please investigate this further,

Cancer update: Johns Hopkins = Cancer News from Johns Hopkins:

1. No plastic containers in micro.

2. No water bottles in freezer.

3. No plastic wrap in microwave.

Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its newsletters. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.

Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer.

Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don’t freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic.

Recently, Dr.. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle Hospital, was on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us.

He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers.. This applies to foods that contain fat. He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body.

(more…)

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s  Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks   didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he  got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if   he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he  sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side   table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees  his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks   around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly  clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye   staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note  hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little   hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: “Honey,  breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make   your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian”

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast,  steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at   he table, eating. Jack asks, “Son…what happened last night?”
(more…)

I really need to share this with you. This is a tribute to a man I have personally known, and been mentored by for many years. This man has been a friend and guide to me till his death. What a wonderful testimony to his life. Ruth,

Story by: By Sara Westhead
Royal Gazette

It is a story comparable to that between the great Apostle Paul and his beloved adopted son, Timothy.
Rev. Frederick Hassell, of the New Apostolic Church, first met Rev. Gottfried Schwarzer when he was a young man of about 25. The brief encounter sparked a relationship that lasted over the next 20 years that would develop through 18 personal visits by Rev. Schwarzer to the Island, as well as an array of letters that travelled back and forth between the two.
Now, nearly ten years after Rev. Schwarzer’s death, Rev. Hassell has collected those letters compiled them into a book, “Apostle Schwarzer’s Pastoral Letters to a Bermudian Priest”, which debuted just a few months ago.

(more…)